NH Goes Live: "China Eat My Lamb Kebab"
Probably the most famous commenter in the Chinese blogosphere just started his own blog. It appears to be called "China, eat my lamb kebab!" and it is by non other than nanheyangrouchuan (nh for short). I will let him explain the rationale and the anticipated methodology behind his blog:
Many have suggested I start a blog. I really have no use for one but what the heck, I'll put this up and see what happens. I can promise that there will be no deleting of comments regardless of their nature. But if what you say attracts the attention of law enforcement, it's all on you.
As much as nh drives us all crazy with his relentlessly downbeat and one-sidedly negative assessments of China, I for one will be checking out the blog fairly regularly because nh is an amazing source for China info.
NH -- a tepid welcome to the China blogosphere. Oh, and am I the only one who does not understand the reference to lamb kebab?
Comments (17)
Read through and enter the discussion by using the form at the endTherese - August 23, 2007 1:54 AM
"Yangrouchuan" 羊肉串 can be translated to "lamb kebab" or "lamb skewer".
Sam Geall - August 23, 2007 2:52 AM
"am I the only one who does not understand the reference to lamb kebab?"
Dan -- the "yangrouchuan" 羊肉串 (or "yangrouchuar" as you'd hear it in Beijing) in NH's name refers to the lamb kebabs that are a ubiquitous feature of street-corner life in China (particularly in the north).
Whether NH is a fan of the night-out staple or not I can't say...
Romain Guerel (French moving back to Shanghai) - August 23, 2007 5:42 AM
A pity that NH established his blog on blogspot as for china bloggers we can always see it due to Chine GWF! I am sure -Dan- you will often report on it!
Ben - August 23, 2007 7:37 AM
"Yangrouchuan" is Chinese for "lamb kebab." I have always guessed that "Nanhe" is some sort of reference to location, "nan" meaning "south" and "he" meaning "river," but I could be wrong on that.
Paul Cambre - August 23, 2007 8:34 AM
Unfortunately (and probably not surprisingly) his blog has been blocked in China, so if you could please keep us informed of any good information he passes along, albeit, without causing your own blog to be blocked. I read your blog everyday and love it...keep it up.
Many thanks!
Paul
nanheyangrouchuan - August 23, 2007 9:09 AM
blogspot being blocked in China is unfortunate, but that's life. The race wars on the China Time blog have cooled off a bit thanks to the GWF. This may change after the party congress is over.
"nan" should be "naan" in reference to the baked, unleavened Uyghur bread that is also sold at Uyghur restaurants and is a very tasty and cheap treat, especially with a coke. "he2" means "and".
My other whipping boy are MNCs and I've remarked on collaberative sites that may in fact collect other peoples' good ideas for future profits and IP. A very important subject is the business of water and I plan to blog on that as well.
But in no way does that mean I won't share my views on other sites, that's my bread and butter ;-)
Law Office of Todd L. Platek - August 23, 2007 11:07 AM
Hope NH doesn't mellow out.
chriswaugh_bj - August 23, 2007 8:47 PM
Unfortunately, presuming nh's screen name is meant to be all in Mandarin (after all 'he' and 'yangrouchuan' are Mandarin words), his screen name contains an error: 'Naan' is the Uighur word. Strangely enough, when the Han were inventing a Chinese word for 'naan', they chose 馕, pronounced 'nang' even though they could have easily invented a character pronounced 'nan'. So if nh was wanting his screen name to be all in Mandarin, he should've gone for nangheyangrouchuan.
Sorry, just being pedantic again. But I suppose this is the kind of thing you should expect from a language teacher.
nanheyangrouchuan - August 24, 2007 8:04 AM
"A Blueprint for the Permanent Deconstruction of China"
5 Comments - Show Original Post Collapse comments
nanheyangrouchuan said...
The first subject to deal with is China's non-conventional arsenal. Well, the answer is simpler than you think. China is bordered by two nuclear powers, Russia and India. It would not be impossible for these two countries to divide China's fixed, mobile and submarine nuclear missiles and secure them within their own borders. The Russians have a far more advanced missile system and far greater numbers of warheads, the Indians would benefit from an increase in warheads and possibly make some technical improvements to their arsenal, but the balance of nuclear power would be maintained and no new nuclear powers would be created. Other neighbors such as central Asian nations, S. Korea and Japan as well as the UN would be invited as official observers and to provide additional security.
Next, what to do about China's conventional military forces? Well, there would be new countries formed from the remains of China, and those with coastal exposure (which would constitute the majority of what is left of China) would have the option of keeping a fairly divided number of naval assets. New countries that did not have coastal exposure would receive a portion of equally divided air and land military assets. Territories that would be returned to their rightful governments (think: "Inner Mongolia") would have the option of taking said military assets or selling them.
We'll get back to the orderly breakup of the newly independent states.
24/8/07 5:12 AM
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nanheyangrouchuan said...
Now in the midst of this restructuring of Asia lies a wild card: the ex-patriot population.
Some came to China because of their job (and the subsequent lifestyle of a minor diety), some came for the cultural experience, some to chase girls and drink, some came to put "China" on their resume and some are wanted for some fairly serious crimes back home.
The expat population has come to have an impact, both good and bad, on the local population where they live, especially in Shanghai, Beijing, Hong Kong and Shenzhen.
Well, in order to facilitate a proper reconstruction the influence of this population will have to be removed. Asia and the international community simply cannot allow crimminals, perverts, substance abusers and self-serving demigods to influence the new governments or the newly liberated society.
Now, internationally recognized aid groups and the media will certainly have their place as objective observers AND facilitators for the new liberated press in each new nation. However, those who are not part of this group (executives, teachers, entrepreneurs, lounge-abouts) WERE in China doing business and/or working with/for China, which no longer exists. To best benefit the new nations and respect their individual sovereignty, all of those parties associated with commerce and education will have to leave and return to the new countries and negotiate new contracts and licenses. There should be no carryovers or special arrangements made. The large populations of each country (representing potential customers and workers) as well as each country's need for developmental assistance will ensure their return. Former citizens of China with foreign spouses and their children will be provided with legal entry into their foreign spouses' home country as political refugees.
Companies that were formerly within China should be associated with their corporate headquarters to determine whether they are foreign in domestic in each new country. The foreign or domestic status of China SOEs will also fall within these guidelines. Formerly Chinese private companies and SOEs with assets outside of their new countries will have to negotiate with the hosting country(ies) regarding the sale of those assets or maintaining them as a foreign entity.
Regarding fugitives, other nations who suspect that someone of interest was residing in China will be given full access to "sweep" individuals from these new countries and from existing countries that have absorbed territories from what was known as China. These properly authorized and diplomatically recognized representatives will only need to provide an official arrest warrant and matching passport information to confirm the identification of the suspects. Any issues of dual citizenship/dual arrest warrants will need to be settled at the diplomatic level between the two relevant nations. The Reconstruction Authority (consisting of the US and the neighbors of the country formerly known as China as well as invited observers and monitors).
24/8/07 5:41 AM
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nanheyangrouchuan said...
Territorial division will be the thorniest issue, however, the Reconstruction Authority can look back at history as well as relying on current political, cultural and economic boundaries for guidelines. Special exception will be given to areas of the former China that are environmental unsustainable. Residents of these areas will be given the opportunity to emigrate as environmental refugees to nations that will accept them or to remain on their homelands and fend for themselves. The world and these people need to recognize that the world cannot and should not expend valuable resources supporting people who choose to live in wastelands that lack sufficient food and water.
The Hui people of Ningxia and Gansu provinces come to mind.
I see the rest of the partitioning occuring along the following lines:
Xinjiang is officially recognized as E. Turkestan and can be recognized as an independent nation or enter into reunification
Inner Mongolia is returned to Mongolia.
Tibet is liberated.
Taiwan is welcomed back into the UN, Fujian province, being culturally related to Taiwan is allowed to enter into unification negotiations with Taipei.
Hong Kong and Macau would be allowed to decide their own fate as independent city states, forming a "supercity" or entering into negotiations with mainland provinces.
The remaining provinces and metropolitan areas (such as Beijing, Shanghai, Shenzhen and Chongqing) would be allowed to negotiate their own political arrangements, with conventional military and other former PRC assets divided among them equally (with the exception of naval assets for nations without coastlines).
All new nations would have to accept democratic governments, with the Aligned Asian Democracies providing guidance and consultation. These new nations would have to sign non-aggression pacts to politically recognize that there is no "mandate of heaven" to forcefully unite all of them as in the past.
To give these new nations a financial boost, the foreign debt formerly held by China would be divided up according to each new nation's population. Likewise, the newly reunited Mongolia, Tibet and any country that united with E. Turkestan would also receive a percentage of China's former debt in proportional to the repatriated population.
24/8/07 6:04 AM
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Todd Platek said...
NH: Great brainstorming, though tinged with some fantasy. The Chinese equivalents of the NSA and Rand Corp. may think employees inside have been leaking their files. With respect to the expats, Sinification may work to a greater extent, as it has in the past. Corporate types will follow HQ's directives, and non-corporate types will listen to their spouses. Those without spouses may continue to seek the mindless bliss that China offers up so readily.
24/8/07 1:24 PM
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nanheyangrouchuan said...
Todd:
Let me put it another way, in the ensuing chaos/impending chaos of the collapse of the CCP and the infighting of the PLA, the world's major military powers would be enforcing martial law to facilitate the peaceful breakup of China and the expats would have no choice about leaving or staying.
24/8/07 4:03 PM
nanheyangrouchuan - August 24, 2007 9:28 AM
"So if nh was wanting his screen name to be all in Mandarin, he should've gone for nangheyangrouchuan."
But if you order from Uyghur kebab stands, you won't get a "huh?" using "nang", so I stuck to "naan" since this word is also used Indian restaurants everywhere and some middle eastern restuarants.
And I loved being propositioned for hashish with a uniformed PSB guy in orbit around Uyghur restaurants, completely oblivious to the potential transaction that could take place.
greg - August 24, 2007 11:37 AM
It is not surprising that nanheyangrouchuan started his "open for business" with an offering of "A Blueprint for the Permanent Deconstruction of China"
Judging by his past posts, he probably will gain popularity in the FG, etc. Hopefully he will be as famous as Gordon Chang, the author of "The Coming Collapse of China," some day.
Good luck.
nanheyangrouchuan - August 24, 2007 2:36 PM
My blueprint is a proposal on how to handle the situation post-China collapse. And there will be "boots on the ground" to limit warlord-ism and to remove the expat community.
froog - August 24, 2007 7:45 PM
I just left a greeting over on NH's "break-up of China" post, advising - although he presumably already knows - that the GFW block on Blogspot in China is not really much of an obstacle.
Of course, advertising this fact on a Blogspot blog doesn't do you a lot of good, if your readers don't already know how to circumvent the block - as many of the commenters here seem not to. So I thought it might be more useful to tip you all off here. CLB dudes, you might want to highlight these dodges in a post and/or a sidebar sometime - as a public service to your China-interested but not-so-Net-savvy readers. (You have many; I have few.)
The simplest method for viewing Blogspot (and Wikipedia and Typepad) in China is this Firefox workaround, courtesy of Chinese student blogger Yee (this link is Anonymoused, because his blog has been intermittently blocked over the last few months).
I have discussed this and other methods of vaulting over the GFW on my own blog a number of times, for example here and here. Happy surfing!
chriswaugh_bj - August 24, 2007 10:10 PM
nh, fair enough. Like I said, I was just being pedantic. Actually, I don't think I realised it was 'nang' in Chinese until I was at a Uighur restaurant and my wife was getting all confused about the bread we were ordering. And at a proper Uighur restaurant, you're probably better off saying 'naan' anyway.
serwat - August 26, 2007 11:53 PM
Ben and I had wondered about nh's meaning. (yes, I think that's the same Ben who commented up above.) I tended to agree with the "south river lamb kebab" interpretation, but now that nh has (finally!) explained himself, it just seems so obvious -- i kinda feel silly for not thinking of it myself -- naan... hey, nh, why didn't you start off with "naanheyangrouchuanr" to begin with??
anyways, it's too late now, I will forever associate nh with bbq lamb eaten south of the river...
Anonymous - September 4, 2007 9:37 PM
If you want, you can always find him in Denver.
sharyl - October 8, 2008 2:11 AM
1 pound boneless lamb leg or shoulder
Marinade:
1 medium onion, coarsely chopped
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/4 cup pomegranate juice, or substitute 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice mixed with 1 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground
black pepper
1 tablespoon finely chopped garlic
3/4 teaspoon cayenne.
-------------
Sharyl
Guaranteed ROI